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The dawn of a new era....

Just look at her, she looks so free, without a care in the world. Thats what I want for myself starting from today.
I'm done with worrying about stupid things like if he will get mad if I do not hola. Or wondering why he came back and never bothered to tell me but shiyet he was looking so fwyne!!
Yes I am taking a break from men. I do not need that drama, I prefer my life stress free thank you!! I thought having options was fun, but I think I bit off more than I could chew. The current situation is, one guy's girlfriend psycho stalker sent me a message telling me how she's not threatened by me who is she kidding?!. Anyway she should know she's only 'with him' because I've not even tried to get with him. I never will!

The other guy is not speaking to me what nerve!! I'm not talking to him either, he has really really disappointed me, but good thing is I really did not invest much in any of them. But thank God the quagmire is officially over!
I am really trying not to generalise, and categorise all men as punks, but it is really hard. Reading Pedestal Patty made me realise how it really isn't fair just judging men on the onset of meeting them without actually giving them a chance.
But right now I just do not feel like giving anyone a chance. I'm tired of searching for men to give chances to, I just want to focus on me. I want to go out just to have fun with my friends, not to attract men and get hit on or whatever.
I am tired of getting my hopes up, just for them to crush and burn. I'm sick of feeling obligated to do stuff, not because I honestly want to, but to avoid drama and feeling guilty.
I just want to be free. Free to dress badly when I go out, free to dance without some guy invading my personal space, free to plan my calendar the way I want without having to factor you in, free from hoping that I will here from you today, or that I will see you, free from trying to figure out corky, funny things to say to you. Puuhh I am done!
I just wanna continue living my life with no goals, without focusing on anything, just taking things one step at a time, with no obligations to anyone but myself, and of course my first love, my TV!
So here's to the next phase of my life! cheers!

xxx V xxx


Anonymous said...

its like am reading from an excerpt of my mind!cheers to the beginning of a new era me first not to be vain or anything bt most of the times its unfortunate tht people tend to go out of their way to please others yet whatever it is,is the farthest thing we would do were it left to us..friends are forever boys are whatever!!!!

nkirdizzle said...

I know, it sucks that other people's opinions seem to matter so much, wish i never gave a damn!!

kellie said...

Amen Amen!!
You try so hard, only to realise it meant crap to whoever you were trying for. Why not focus that energy to self?

I'm also done giving. I've never really been selfish (relationship addict kinda), and I must admit, I've been missing out!!

Here's to living for you!

nkirdizzle said...

@Kellie yeah there is only so much that you can give to someone who clearly doesn't want it, let alone deserve it.
Sometimes women loose themselves trying to conform to what they think men want, only to discover that what they have become is not what those men want...
Ef that!!
Im hoping not to change for any man, and praying never to meet that man who will make me want to.
Yeah here's to living for this moi!!

Sultana said...

Self love, all the way. Good luck!

nkirdizzle said...

Thanks Sultana i need it :)

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