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Bathroom stuff

There is a certain decorum which has to be conducted when your using the bathroom.
For me bathrooms are a huge deal because for some reason i pee really frequently (no i do not have a problem, i got checked and i am A okay).
Anyway the reason i am writing this blog is because i am wondering if these thoughts go through peoples minds when they are using the loo.
Men are very lucky they pee while standing, what i wouldn't do to be able to do that!! Do you know how much we women suffer when your in the wild and you have to squat down and expose your behind to all kinds of dangers like animal things jumping up to bite it, or poison ivy (does that plant grow in kenya??), all the while mooning all your spectators?!!
I saw one time on Tyra some kind of funnel thing which enable women to pee while standing, i would definitely buy that if i knew where i could get a hold of it!
During the last rally held two weeks ago in kajiado, my friends had to gather up shawls and create like walls to enable each other to pee. I did not join in on the fun, but of course i took pictures :) i would rather stay pressed till my bladder is on the verge of exploding then pee in the wild.
My guy friend was asking me why girls cant just spread their legs and pee while standing, well, that really wouldnt work because the pee would not go straight down, but trickle down your legs.
One time my friend and i were at Nakumatt Ukay where we had made a pitt stop before heading to Qs, and we went to the bathroom, but since it was just the two of us we decided to explore a bit. I joined him in the gents, and it was quite an adventure...not!!! Men's bathrooms stink especially coz of those balls they put in the urinals (ewe). He came to the ladies and the first thing he noticed were the rentokil bins.
'What's this for?'
Most people drink from the fountain of knowledge, but my friend only gargled ha ha ha
okay i am just kidding, i just had to throw that line in. He is actually very intelligent...sometimes.
So i proceeded to tell him all sorts of lies of how you open the bin and it produces water which you can use to wash your hands or wipe yourself if there's no tissue. Men are so clueless..
I heard in Japan there is a pipe that sprouts up from inside the loo and proceeds to spray warm water to wash your derriere or whatever. If you have been to Nihongo, is there any truth to that??
Apparently there is a rule for urinal use in mens bathrooms about like the proximity to your neighbour or whatever, and i was really relieved to hear that because in my opinion, urinals already do not provide any privacy at all. I bet when your peeing your just busy sizing each other up with your neighbour.
Before i really used to wonder what all the fuss women made about men leaving the toilet seat up, but it is actually a big deal. If you put it up, just put it back down when your done.
What freaks me out the most when i am in the toilet is when you flash the loo and the water starts rising! shit!!! That's so messed up but luckily it usually goes back down so the disaster is averted.
I think this post has gone on for long enough before i begin grossing you out, which i am very capable of..

xxx V xxx


magaribina said...

He he - OK this qualifies as toilet humour, doesn't it ? Very entertaining post

The blog writer said...

why thank you :)

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